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Quotes - T-Shirts

"Revenge" sounds so mean. That's why I call it "returning a favor".

$25.00

Sale price $25.00 Regular price

Quotes - T-Shirts

Quotes - T-Shirts

$25.00

Sale price $25.00 Regular price

Choose Your Quote "Revenge" sounds so mean. That's why I call it "returning a favor". 5 symptoms of laziness: 1. Alexa: Skip to Friday. AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS ANYONE AWAY IF YOU THROW IT HARD ENOUGH. Be yourself. Somewhere else. BEFORE TALKING PLEASE CONNECT THE TONGUE TO THE BRAIN. CONGRATULATIONS IF YOU PRESS THE ELEVATOR BUTTON THREE TIMES IT GOES INTO HURRY MODE - REALLY… DO I GET BONUS POINTS IF I ACT LIKE I CARE? DO I KNOW SARCASM? Why yes he's my best friend DO YOU EVER MEET SOMEONE FOR THE FIRST TIME AND WANT TO BUY A TOASTER FOR THEIR BATHTUB? DO YOU WANT ME TO ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE OR DO YOU WANT ME TO LIE TO MYSELF AND TRY TO LIKE YOU? DON'T WORRY - YOU'RE NOT AS DUMB AS YOU LOOK. For Halloween I'm going to be emotionally stable. No one is going to know it's me. Good morning world. Your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived. HEY THERE TRAIN WRECK. This isn't your station. How can I miss you if you won't go away? HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO GET SUCH A LARGE FOOT IN SUCH A SMALL MOUTH? I am busy right now can I ignore you some other time? I believe in annoyed at first sight. I can tell today is going to be a "Doesn't Play Well With Others" kind of day. I CAN'T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT MY FACE DOES WHEN YOU TALK. I don't have a welcome mat at my door because I'm not a liar. I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO PRETEND TO LIKE YOU TODAY. I found your nose. It was in my business. I HAD MY PATIENCE TESTED. I'm negative. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you. I LOVE DEADLINES. I LIKE THE WHOOSING SOUND THEY MAKE AS THEY FLY BY. I love to hear you talk… the white noise is very relaxing. I need you like a fish needs a raincoat. I wish more people were fluent in silence. I WOULD LIKE TO CONFIRM THAT I DON'T CARE. IF I HAD A DOLLAR FOR EVERY SMART THING YOU SAID… WAIT NO THEN I'D BE IN DEBT! If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I'd be poor. IF IGNORANCE IS BLISS YOU MUST BE THE HAPPIEST PERSON ON THIS PLANET. If life gives you lemons then be thankful for it. I have been getting only the peels for as long as I can remember! IF YOU DON'T WANT A SARCASTIC ANSWER.. THEN DON'T ASK A STUPID QUESTION. IF YOU HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT MY LIFE PLEASE RAISE YOUR HAND. Now put it over your mouth. IF YOU WROTE DOWN EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT YOU EVER HAD.. YOU WOULD GET AN AWARD FOR THE SHORTEST STORY EVER. I'LL ALWAYS CHERISH THE ORIGINAL MISCONCEPTION I HAD OF YOU. I'LL TRY BEING NICER… if you try being smarter. I'M NOT CRAZY! The voices tell me I am entirely sane. I'M NOT REALLY GOOD AT GIVING ADVICE.. COULD I INTEREST YOU IN A SARCASTIC COMMENT? I'M NOT SARCASTIC. I'm just intelligent beyond your understanding. I'M NOT SAYING I HATE YOU; WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT YOU ARE LITERALLY THE MONDAY OF MY LIFE. I'M SORRY. WHILE YOU WERE TALKING I WAS TRYING FIGURE WHERE YOU GOT THE IDEA I CARED. It might look like I'm doing nothing.. but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. IT'S OK IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME… I can't force you to be right. Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. JUST KEEP TALKING.. I yawn when I'm interested. LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES OF OTHERS. YOU CAN NEVER LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE THEM ALL YOURSELF. LIFE IS FULL OF DISAPPOINTMENTS.. AND I JUST ADDED YOU TO THE LIST. Life's good.. you should get one. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. MAYBE YOU SHOULD EAT SOME MAKEUP SO YOU CAN BE PRETTY ON THE INSIDE TOO. My alone time is sometimes for your safety. MY BOSS SAID I INTIMIDATE MY CO-WORKERS. I STARED AT HIM UNTIL HE APOLOGIZED. My boss told me to have a good day so I went home. MY FAVORITE PARTY TRICK IS NOT GOING. My silence doesn't mean I agree with you. It's just that your level of ignorance has rendered me speechless. MY TOLERANCE FOR IDIOTS IS EXTREMELY LOW TODAY. I USED TO HAVE SOME IMMUNITY BUILT UP.. BUT OBVIOUSLY THERE IS A NEW STRAIN OUT THERE. BUT OBVIOUSLY THERE IS A NEW STRAIN OUT THERE. NO NO NO. I'M NOT INSULTING YOU. I'm just describing you. NO YOU DON'T HAVE TO REPEAT YOURSELF. I was ignoring you the first time. No you're right. Let's do it the dumbest way possible so it's easier for you. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME… TODAY'S BAD DECISIONS AREN'T GOING TO MAKE THEMSELVES. OMG… No one cares. ONE SECOND… OH OKAY I FOUND IT… HERE IS MY CELLPHONE. CALL SOMEONE WHO CARES. Patience: What you have when there are too many witnesses. People need to start appreciating the effort I put into not being a serial killer. People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world. PLEASE DON'T INTERRUPT ME WHEN I'M IGNORING YOU. Please don't see me… Please don't see me… Heyyy! Politics: 'Poli' a Latin word meaning 'many'; and 'tics' meaning bloodsucking creatures'. RIGHT BEFORE I DIE I'M GOING TO SWALLOW A BAG OF POPCORN KERNELS TO MAKE THE CREMATION A BIT MORE INTERESTING. SANTA DOESN'T BELIEVE IN YOU EITHER. SARCASM - THE ABILITY TO INSULT IDIOTS WITHOUT THEM REALIZING IT. Should I bring a ladder so you can step out of my business? SLEEPING IS MY DRUG.. MY BED IS MY DEALER AND MY ALARM CLOCK IS THE POLICE. So many people worry about their physical appearance and material possessions that they completely disregard their crappy personality. Some people are like clouds. When they disappear it's a beautiful day. SOMEDAY YOU'LL GO FAR. I hope you stay there. SOMEONE SAID THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVE HALF A BRAIN BUT I DEFENDED YOU. I INSISTED THAT YOU DID! SOMETIMES I NEED WHAT ONLY YOU CAN PROVIDE: YOUR ABSENCE. Sometimes the first step toward forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot. Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here. TELL ME WHAT GAVE YOU THE IMPRESSION THAT I ACTUALLY CARE. So I can avoid it next time. TELL ME… IS BEING STUPID A PROFESSION OR ARE YOU JUST GIFTED? The early bird can have the worm.. because worms are gross and mornings are stupid. The trash will get picked up tomorrow.. be ready. THERE SHOULD BE SYMPATHY CARDS FOR HAVING TO GO BACK TO WORK AFTER A VACATION. THEY SAY IGNORANCE IS BLISS.. BUT I FIND YOURS RATHER DISTURBING. Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care! THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL. Unless your name is Google.. stop acting like you know everything. Well at least your mom thinks you're pretty. WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU GIVES YOU A SET OF UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS AND A DARK SENSE OF HUMOR. WHAT? I DON'T SPEAK IDIOT. WHEN AM I SARCASTIC? Only on days that end in Y. WHEN I SAID "HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?" IT WASN'T A CHALLENGE. WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS.. SQUEEZE THEM IN PEOPLE'S EYES. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME STUPID QUESTIONS.. IT IS MY LEGAL OBLIGATION TO GIVE A SARCASTIC REMARK. When science finally locates the center of the universe.. some people will be surprised to learn that they're not it. Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in. YOU ARE ABOUT AS USEFUL AS A WHITE CRAYON. YOU SUCK. YOU SHOULD FIX THAT. You'd be in good shape… if you ran as much as your mouth. You're giving me the silent treatment? Finally. YOU'RE NOT THAT LUCKY.. AND I'M NOT THAT DESPERATE! You're unique… Just like everyone else. Zombies eat brains. You're safe.

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